Ganon, Vaati, Majora, Veran, and Onox Walk into a Bar
by Sir Weston
Summary: or "Worst of the Worst." WARNING! Has nothing to do with LoZ! Heather, Scott, Al, Lightning, and Justin are teamed up to compete in a hot reality show "Best of the Best." Chosen because they are in fact, horrible people, they have to compete against others who are even more so. Their only hope of winning is to rely on the people they wronged in the past, the others of Total Drama..


**Ganon, Vaati, Majora's Mask, Veran, and Onox Walk into a Bar…**

**AKA: The Worst of the Worst**

**That's right! My new fan fiction has nothing to do with the others! Whoa!**

**So, why did I name it this, when it has nothing to do with The Legend of Zelda? Well, it started when I was at , which is an online comic about Nintendo characters. I was watching the singing comic called "A Simple Request" which features Ganon singing "All I want for Christmas," with "you" being the Triforce. Around halfway through the song, Vaati, Skull Kid, Veran, and Onox (from Oracles of Seasons and Ages) start singing about kids, screaming, and fires and stuff. Then Ganon tells Santa that he should bring him what he wants, because (and I quote) "I'm a much better villain than these four dudes." For fun, I pretended that Gannon was Alejandro, Vaati was Scott, Majora's Mask was Lightning (the Skull Kid is Cameron), Veran was Heather, and Onox was Justin. Why those five? Because they're the biggest ass holes in Total Drama, that's why.**

**Also, I was just going to have it be Al, Scott, and Heather, but after I listened to that song, I added Lightning and Justin.**

**And, just so you know, that was my inspiration for the title. I thought of the story a long time ago.**

**So anyway, let's get to the story now, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Total Drama, , The Legend of Zelda, Nintendo, or any of the characters. I just find them wildly amusing.**

**Chapter 1 – Season Thirteen**

Isabella "Bell" Doe loved her job. She got to do what she wanted and she loved what she did. She always found it important to work in a place where you could do what comes naturally to you. In this case, what she loved to do was exploit teens from reality shows on her own reality show for money. Her show, "Best of the Best" was a reality show that took people who appeared on other reality shows and force them to compete against each other to see who truly was the best of the best.

Currently, Bell was scouring the web for new contestants for her show. She always had a different theme for each season, in which the show was about to enter its thirteenth season. Because of the superstitions surrounding the number thirteen, she decided it had to be a good one. But, unfortunately, she was at a lost for a theme. What should she do? She had already done the best contestants from the highest rated shows at the time fighting each other; that had been season one. She had done food shows, dare shows, fear factor shows (that had been one crazy season,) and even a "would you rather" season. How could she possibly top that?

Sighing, she typed on her computer, searching for "Best Reality Shows of this year." Her show came up first, and she grinned to herself. Directly under that was the link to watch episodes of a show she had never heard of.

"Total Drama Island?" she read, intrigued, "This looks interesting." She clicked on the link. It lead to the Total Drama website, which revealed to her that the show had four seasons so far; Island, Action, World Tour, and Revenge of the Island. She read about the show's host, Chris McLean, and the cast of each season. Then she watched some of the episodes. Her eyes lit up as she watched. Each season was more dramatic than the last.

Her interest was especially piqued by five certain teens, who were begging for attention. She squealed joyfully to herself. She had just found her theme for season thirteen! Now she had to find similar shows…

XXX

Heather hated school. Not the popular part, she adored that, she just hated working. She often sat in her senior classes, day dreaming and desperately wishing she had won Total Drama, so she could be set for life and not have to go to college. Unfortunately just being on a reality show wasn't enough, even if she was the most beloved cast member (in her mind, at least.)

That afternoon, as she sat staring at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring, one of her teachers came into the class room.

"Hey Heather," he said, "You have a phone call waiting for you in the student lounge."

Heather sighed. She got up and went to the student lounge, answering the phone.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Good day," a chipper voice on the other end said, "Are you Heather? The one that competed on Total Drama Island?"

Heather sighed again. She hated being reminded of that horrid show. "Unfortunately, yes," she replied.

"My name is Bell Doe, from the show The Best of the Best," the mysterious marauder told her.

"I know that show," Heather said, "It's pretty good."

"I'm glad you think so," Bell replied, "Because I would like you to compete in it."

Heather paused. Her? Compete in TV's number one show? That took place in a large and luxurious mansion? Was this for real? She had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"Heck yeah, I want to compete on it!" Heather exclaimed. The winner was awarded a million dollars!

Bell smiled on the other end. "I thought you might say that," she said.

XXX

Scott didn't go to school often. Since he lived on a farm, his parents usually wanted to work rather than learn. One of the few luxuries they did have was a phone and an old TV.

He was in the fields, terrorizing the chickens, pretending they were his fellow cast mates from Revenge of the Island, when his father came out and shouted to him.

"Hey Scott!" he shouted, "Phone call for you!"

Scott stopped strangling Chicken Zoey and walked to the house. He picked up the phone, but did not speak. There was an awkward pause.

"Hello?" the speaker on the other end tested.

"What?" Scott asked, irritably.

"Is this Scott from Total Drama?"

"Well if not, then I have some serious identity issues," he pointed out.

"This is Bell Doe, form Best of the Best," she told him.

Having watched very little TV, Scott had no idea who that was. "Yeah, can you get on with whatever it is you want?" he complained, "I'm busy strangling my former cast mates."

Bell wasn't quite sure how to respond to that particular comment, so she decided to just explain. "I host the show 'The Best of the Best' and in my search for a new season, I have decided to pick you to be in this season and have the chance to win honor, glory, and one million dollars."

At "one million dollars" Scott was immediately alert. "One million dollars, you say? Well, that does sound promising…"

**I'm going to end the chapter right there before I ruin it. I hope you guys didn't mind my long boring story at the beginning, and you find this at least somewhat tolerable.**

**In the next chapter, I explain more what "Best of the Best" is all about, Al, Lightning, and Justin come in, and I introduce their competition. But in the mean time, please R & R!**


End file.
